Reducing stress Part 3

There is one word in the English language that will help you reduce stress.  It helps you avoid many things that in life that could cause stress.

This word is NO!

I know, easier said than done but practice it with me....ready....set......NO!!



When you are asked to help volunteer AGAIN for a cause and your first thought is "ugh, is it that time already" or "I just don't have the time" say NO!  Saying no does NOT make you a bad person but saying yes could make you feel bad....and that bad is stress and you can't help anyone when you are not at your best.  Saying no may make you "feel bad" for the moment but will reduce your stress in the long run.

Another thing to say NO to is any conversation that "drains you" or will become a heated conversation.  Earlier we talked about avoiding the friend conversation who always has a problem.  I want to expand on that one.  Avoid ALL conversations that could lead to a heated discussion; religion & politics are good examples of this but your list may contain a few more topics.  If your are right wing and your friend is left wing this time of year is a difficult one.  When you are with your friend don't bring up the subject of politics.  If the subject is brought up, "wow. look at the time sorry but I need to get going."  Just say NO to those conversations.

Just say NO to the news if you find yourself worrying or getting upset or mad about everything on news.  Turn the channel or turn it off.  Trust me....if it is something you need to know it will be on again.  

Remember, you will not be ANY good to ANY one if you are stressed.  So remember this:

A:  Always
N:  No before 
Y:  Yes

ANY will allow you to say no first.  You will than be able to "think" about it without the immediate pressure of being in the moment.  

Come back and learn what you can do to reduce stress when you can't say NO.

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Ways to feel better: Believe in yourself

If you can see it, you can do it!  Click this video and come back and read.

The truth is if we don't believe in ourselves no one else will.  If you believe you are worthless you will be worth less.  You define your worth...and you are priceless.

Why are we our own worst enemy?  Alison Finch says it best:

1. Feeling worthless is a safe option because it reduces the amount of pain you suffer when things go wrong. If you already know that you're no good and that no one will fall in love with you, or give you a job, or even care enough to listen to you, then when a rejection wings its way towards you - which it certainly will because it happens to all of us - then you're better prepared than most. You can say: "Ah ha, you can't ruin my life because I already knew this was going to happen; I already knew that you didn't really love me/want me/value me!"

1. Feeling worthless is an easy option; if you're worthless there's no need to try to do well and succeed in the things that matter to you because there is simply no point. Also, if you act as if your opinions and your desires are all worthless then people leave you alone. If you say you have no remarkable skills or talents then there is no need to apply them. If you say that you are a useless, hopeless nobody then people will expect far less from you. And just maybe you could get lots of sympathy and perhaps even another person (on a white horse in shining armour) coming to your rescue to sort your life out for you.

What does this mean for you?  It means it's time to determine you worthMORE not worthLESS. Like the song says you need to say to yourself:  "I believe I can fly."  

“The year you were born marks only your entry into the world. Other years where you prove your worth, they are the ones worth celebrating. 
”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book Title is Invisible

What you do today, how you feel about yourself will change your life.  Believe you can touch the sky, if you believe it; there's nothing to it.  Get out of your own way and spread your wings!!!

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Ways to feel better part 3

Don't judge.  Too many times we look at others and have our minds made up of who they are and what they are about.  Many opportunities can be lost when we do this.  Every person, no matter what they wear, how they look or what they do has something to give us....maybe not as much as this story but even if it's just a smile....it can brighten your day.

A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the president's outer office. The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in Cambridge. She frowned.
"We want to see the president," the man said softly.
"He'll be busy all day," the secretary snapped.
"We'll wait," the lady replied.
For hours, the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn't. And the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted to do. "Maybe if they just see you for a few minutes, they'll leave," she told him. And he sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn't have the time to spend with them, but he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office. The president, stern-faced with dignity, strutted toward the couple.
The lady told him, "We had a son that attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. And my husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus". The president wasn't touched he was shocked.
"Madam," he said gruffly, "we can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery."
"Oh, no," the lady explained quickly, "we don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard.
The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress andhomespun suit, then exclaimed, "A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical plant at Harvard." For a moment the lady was silent.
The president was pleased. He could get rid of them now.
The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, "Is that all it costs to start a University? Why don't we just start our own?" Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment.
Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the University that bears their name, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about!  (Thank you  RogerKnapp.com for this great story)

Want  to feel better?  Leave the judgment of others to those with closed minds.  Open your mind, open your hearts and you will feel better and be a better person.

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Ways to feel better: Part 2

"Judge a person by their questions, rather than their answers." ~Voltaire

One of my favorite quotes but you have to read it a second time to really "get it."




Judging other on how they answer or "view" the world is one of the most destructive things we do to ourselves.

Let me ask you a few questions:
Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.
Here are the facts about the three candidates.

Candidate A:
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 Martinis a day.
Candidate B:
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C:
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never committed adultery.

Which of these candidates would be our choice?

What are your answers?

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolf Hitler.

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:
If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.
 
Remember:

Amateurs ... Built the ark.
Professionals ... Built the Titanic

I read this one day, and I apologize for not knowing who put this out first, and it changed how I viewed things.  How would you feel if someone judged you by your answers to these questions?  They are never as they seem, are they?  This is a very powerful song that you should listen VERY carefully to.....I hope it changes your life as it did min. 

Want to feel better?  Change how you judge others.

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